Impatient for Free Slices
I am tired and lonesome and feeling at loose ends this evening, despite the fact that I have a very smutty library book to read and a new laptop to try and figure out. I am wondering if I am too old to write a blog or something calling myself ‘bakerygirl’ and even how one goes about writing a blog in the first place since I don’t know how to do that either ;)
But I just have this horrible urge to tell the world the story of the businessman on his day off with kids today who was too impatient to wait for me to finish bagging an elderly lady’s bread for her and grabbed up two loaves from the breadboard with his bare hands and started sawing away at one with a butter spreader while saying to his kids
“This one? Is this the one you want?!?”
And I looked at him with my vacuous patented ‘ I am too dumb/sweet/insignificant to offend you, oh customer’ stare and said loudly and firmly in a disgustingly friendly voice,
“Sir! I’ll be happy to cut you some slices with the BREAD KNIFE now that I’ve finished waiting on this lady!”
I wish you or someone else appreciative could have seen it. He was sort of mortified in spite of himself, but recovered with great aplomb and proceeded to buy a muffin out of shame and agreed to my slices with a sort of impressive lassize faire considering he had just made an ass of himself.
But maybe I was the only one who was aware of that? Surely other NORMAL people- had they been present- would have thought “Guy! For the love of Pete, don’t grab the bread sample with your bare hand and start sawing at it with the butter spreader! We don’t know where those hands have been! And besides, it’s a lovely fall Sunday afternoon and you’re out with your kids, where could you possibly have to be that won’t wait five minutes for the BAKERYGIRL to cut you some free bread ?!?!?”
Ok, mini-rant over. But – the true issue here is of course: was it funny? Did you enjoy reading it? Did it make you smile and long to hear more of the trials and tribulations of your brave and beloved heroine?
xxxooo bakerygirl
But I just have this horrible urge to tell the world the story of the businessman on his day off with kids today who was too impatient to wait for me to finish bagging an elderly lady’s bread for her and grabbed up two loaves from the breadboard with his bare hands and started sawing away at one with a butter spreader while saying to his kids
“This one? Is this the one you want?!?”
And I looked at him with my vacuous patented ‘ I am too dumb/sweet/insignificant to offend you, oh customer’ stare and said loudly and firmly in a disgustingly friendly voice,
“Sir! I’ll be happy to cut you some slices with the BREAD KNIFE now that I’ve finished waiting on this lady!”
I wish you or someone else appreciative could have seen it. He was sort of mortified in spite of himself, but recovered with great aplomb and proceeded to buy a muffin out of shame and agreed to my slices with a sort of impressive lassize faire considering he had just made an ass of himself.
But maybe I was the only one who was aware of that? Surely other NORMAL people- had they been present- would have thought “Guy! For the love of Pete, don’t grab the bread sample with your bare hand and start sawing at it with the butter spreader! We don’t know where those hands have been! And besides, it’s a lovely fall Sunday afternoon and you’re out with your kids, where could you possibly have to be that won’t wait five minutes for the BAKERYGIRL to cut you some free bread ?!?!?”
Ok, mini-rant over. But – the true issue here is of course: was it funny? Did you enjoy reading it? Did it make you smile and long to hear more of the trials and tribulations of your brave and beloved heroine?
xxxooo bakerygirl
posted by ReesieKitty at 11:20 PM
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