Providing A Public Service
We give out free slices at the bakery. There is a large wooden bread board on the front counter with loaves- whatever we have a lot of or are featuring or just feel like putting out there- along with a bowl with butter and two butter spreaders and a glass 'sneeze guard' like you get at a salad bar over the top of it.
We used to have honey out as well, but it was proven through trial and massive error that the public at large cannot be trusted with honey, so thankfully the owner decided we didnt have to do THAT anymore. We tell people it is gone because it attracted insects, but some of them still get pouty about it and request it repeatedly everytime they come in, remeniscing about the good old days when we weren't so mean spirited and they got to drip sticky sweet honey all over their bread and butter.
We also used to have long sharp serrated knives out that customers could help themselves to a slice with. Too many odd characters and junkies come in for free bread though, so that is discontinued as well, and we never even leave a knife above the counter or on the board- they always go back to the shelf underneath. Sometimes I play out creepy scenarios in my head about what weapons I could reach if someone did psycho out in the bakery or we were attacked by zombies, etc. So far it hasn't happened, but working with the public at large does tend to keep you prepared for anything.
Things about the bread board that make me crazy are:
1) When sticky breads are allowed to gunk up the board and someone lays a fresh round of bread on top of the gunk without scraping the board clean first.
2)When people put things like the cheese jalopeneo cornbread right next to the apple scrapple- I mean, who wants a slice of apple cinnamon/jalopeneo bread, right?
3) People who get crumbs and things all over the butter spreader and put it back in the bowl. Ditto for people who crumple up their dirty napkin and leave it on the board with the bread.
4) People who come in for a FREE slice of bread with a latte from the Carabou across the street and dont intend to buy anything. I mean, I like lattes too, but TACKY, ok?
5)People who come in for free bread and complain about what kinds we have out and then try and bully me into putting out an entire loaf of THEIR favorite kind.
6)Anyone over the age of seven who tries to get me to cut them bread by doing any of the following things:
Grunting
Grunting and pointing
Grunting and pointing while talking on a cell phone to someone else
Saying 'gimme a slice of that' and pointing
Reaching out and touching the bread with a stabbing motion to ask what it is or indicate that
they would like a slice
People who do not keep their childrens' hands off of the bread
People who carry small dogs in under their arm and then allow the dog to sort of HANG right over the board with their paws or nose practically in the butter bowl
People who tap their fingers, keys or anything else on the glass sneeze guard- one guy shattered it once by doing that which I personally think is funny as hell
People who just grab the bread and try to tear off a hunk for themselves or saw at it with a butter spreader instead of asking for a slice
People who 'double-dip' with the butter knife
I think my largest complaint here though is just how few people- adults, kids, teens, etc- say please and thank you for their bread. If they dont say it to me, I often wait until they step away and then say VERY loudly and sweetly,
"You're welcome! Please come back again for another slice!"
Probably they dont care or notice, but I must be deriving satisfaction from it on some level or I wouldnt keep doing it. Also, it tends to crack my harried co-workers up.
Free slices of bread are nice- but not your God-given inalienable right, folks. The worst is when we take the board down. We do this first at about three PM when the local highschool lets out. Even then we are mobbed with kids crowding in and yelling "Don't you got the free bread?!?"I cant really blame the highschool kids on their own though, since adults do it to.
A special hello goes out to the mom who informed us that we had better keep it out JUST for her, since her little kids were taking a class at the music and language acadamy up the street and they needed a snack before going home!
Lady, buy a muffin, ok?
We also take the board down at night to wash everything about a half hour before closing. Yes, this is the end of the bakery world as some people know it. They get all cranky and try everything from wheedling to threats to get the bread board reinstated just for them. The people who are nice about it I sometimes give a free muffin to if we are closing up and have some left over. Decent behavior about the free bread board should be encouraged and rewarded, in my opinion.
We used to have honey out as well, but it was proven through trial and massive error that the public at large cannot be trusted with honey, so thankfully the owner decided we didnt have to do THAT anymore. We tell people it is gone because it attracted insects, but some of them still get pouty about it and request it repeatedly everytime they come in, remeniscing about the good old days when we weren't so mean spirited and they got to drip sticky sweet honey all over their bread and butter.
We also used to have long sharp serrated knives out that customers could help themselves to a slice with. Too many odd characters and junkies come in for free bread though, so that is discontinued as well, and we never even leave a knife above the counter or on the board- they always go back to the shelf underneath. Sometimes I play out creepy scenarios in my head about what weapons I could reach if someone did psycho out in the bakery or we were attacked by zombies, etc. So far it hasn't happened, but working with the public at large does tend to keep you prepared for anything.
Things about the bread board that make me crazy are:
1) When sticky breads are allowed to gunk up the board and someone lays a fresh round of bread on top of the gunk without scraping the board clean first.
2)When people put things like the cheese jalopeneo cornbread right next to the apple scrapple- I mean, who wants a slice of apple cinnamon/jalopeneo bread, right?
3) People who get crumbs and things all over the butter spreader and put it back in the bowl. Ditto for people who crumple up their dirty napkin and leave it on the board with the bread.
4) People who come in for a FREE slice of bread with a latte from the Carabou across the street and dont intend to buy anything. I mean, I like lattes too, but TACKY, ok?
5)People who come in for free bread and complain about what kinds we have out and then try and bully me into putting out an entire loaf of THEIR favorite kind.
6)Anyone over the age of seven who tries to get me to cut them bread by doing any of the following things:
Grunting
Grunting and pointing
Grunting and pointing while talking on a cell phone to someone else
Saying 'gimme a slice of that' and pointing
Reaching out and touching the bread with a stabbing motion to ask what it is or indicate that
they would like a slice
People who do not keep their childrens' hands off of the bread
People who carry small dogs in under their arm and then allow the dog to sort of HANG right over the board with their paws or nose practically in the butter bowl
People who tap their fingers, keys or anything else on the glass sneeze guard- one guy shattered it once by doing that which I personally think is funny as hell
People who just grab the bread and try to tear off a hunk for themselves or saw at it with a butter spreader instead of asking for a slice
People who 'double-dip' with the butter knife
I think my largest complaint here though is just how few people- adults, kids, teens, etc- say please and thank you for their bread. If they dont say it to me, I often wait until they step away and then say VERY loudly and sweetly,
"You're welcome! Please come back again for another slice!"
Probably they dont care or notice, but I must be deriving satisfaction from it on some level or I wouldnt keep doing it. Also, it tends to crack my harried co-workers up.
Free slices of bread are nice- but not your God-given inalienable right, folks. The worst is when we take the board down. We do this first at about three PM when the local highschool lets out. Even then we are mobbed with kids crowding in and yelling "Don't you got the free bread?!?"I cant really blame the highschool kids on their own though, since adults do it to.
A special hello goes out to the mom who informed us that we had better keep it out JUST for her, since her little kids were taking a class at the music and language acadamy up the street and they needed a snack before going home!
Lady, buy a muffin, ok?
We also take the board down at night to wash everything about a half hour before closing. Yes, this is the end of the bakery world as some people know it. They get all cranky and try everything from wheedling to threats to get the bread board reinstated just for them. The people who are nice about it I sometimes give a free muffin to if we are closing up and have some left over. Decent behavior about the free bread board should be encouraged and rewarded, in my opinion.
posted by ReesieKitty at 1:33 AM
3 Comments:
The public is not to be trusted with most things, much less a substance that requires as much scrubbing as sticky, tacky honey.
Why is it people are so wacko about bread? I work at a mucho fancypants restaurant where we have a bread person who goes to each table with a lovely selection of breads. I am constantly asked, 'Does that just get thrown away at the end of the night? Can we take home what's left?' People will ask for more bread three or four times!
And they say there's a whole low carb thing going on...
Well, I could do an entire post on the irony of the Lo-Carb bread customer. But I'm glad its not just me. People really do have this THING about bread! Our bakery is across the street from a bistro and people constantly come in and insist that the bread they had there came from us and they want to buy it. When I tell them it isnt ouur bread they try to argue with me about it or ask why we DONT make that particular bread.It's odd...
Well, I could do an entire post on the irony of the Lo-Carb bread customer. But I'm glad its not just me. People really do have this THING about bread! Our bakery is across the street from a bistro and people constantly come in and insist that the bread they had there came from us and they want to buy it. When I tell them it isnt ouur bread they try to argue with me about it or ask why we DONT make that particular bread.It's odd...
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